The Drummer Boy

Chapter 2- Pt.1

The sun was ablaze as usual. The only restitute in the hot hours was the slow and gentle wind that blew from over the sea. Every now and then it came in with relief like that of finding an oasis in the desert. A pattern of cool and warm breezes would wash over me every five minutes, a rather consistent yet pleasant feeling which I graciously appreciated. The sound of chatter was bellowing in the hallways and here I was pretending that I couldn’t hear a thing. For the kind of introvert I am, I often prefer the company of myself rather than another’s. The quiet was quite out the question but the solitude was comforting. A group of somewhat hormonal teenagers now entered the classroom and I was forced to take out my cellphone in order to look normal. Sadly, this generation has forgotten the art of sitting alone with one’s own thoughts. So, as I absent mindedly scrolled through my social networking sites, my mind wandered off to the events of the previous night.
The journey home from the concert had been disturbing and last night’s sleep, fitful. Regrets, regrets, regrets…why were they my constant companion? As long as I live, I will never be able forget the look on his face as I walked away, a look of confusion and helplessness. The probability of ever coming face to face with the drummer boy was slim. Perhaps, I had been wrong to walk away, maybe not. Being indecisive is one of my biggest flaws, but making a wrong choice and dealing with its consequences is something I am going to have to come to terms with, sooner or later.

 

But that feeling of my heart about to explode with my brain whizzing wildly and the churning of my stomach? When did all this start? I have come to believe that, a crush happens when your eyes tell your brain, it likes something it sees and when you really like someone, your heart tells your brain what it feels.

But where had it all begun?
Staring at my phone, I slowly became less aware of my surroundings and felt myself being pulled into a flashback. I was thrown back to that fateful day. The day my eyes conveyed a detailed drawing of what I saw, before I could do something about it.
There was music, loud voices and laughter in the background. Music! It has always been a common denominator in all my life’s most terrifying and exciting moments. That day, I remember scolding myself for being so complacent about my looks. I had not even taken the time to wear fancy footwear because I had assumed that people would show up in a much lesser formal dress code.

I decided to forgive myself and tried to engage in conversation instead. My friend, with whom I was speaking to, was particularly chatty that evening, which for me was a welcoming relief. At least now I didn’t look like a social outcast. But my eyes didn’t take long to wander off because another had stolen my attention. I could barely believe what I was seeing, , so I blinked in surprised. Was he who I thought he was? Were my eyes playing tricks on me?

I couldn’t be…..It just couldn’t be!
There standing before me was someone I barely knew but his name rang a big gong in my head for I had heard praises of his looks and musical abilities not very long ago. Turning in my direction, he continued to talk to the person in front of him. I felt my heart flutter and my brain clock off. My friend had to snap me back to reality. She asked me whom was I staring at and told me that my face looked flushed. I brushed her off with a nervous laugh, but the moment our eyes met I felt that odd churning in my stomach. My heart began racing at hundred kilometers per sec.

That day, I slipped, fell and then I remained on that ground called ‘love’, if you may, for the several months to come. It wasn’t love, I knew that for sure , but so strong were my feelings that I often stayed up at night, playing that fateful day over and over in my head. Unaware of my feelings, he and I had become good friends and I waited for the day we would meet. After all I prayed that someday he’d feel the same.
But now, I felt empty on the inside. I had allowed my anger and pride to get the best of me. I was definitely sure that by my behavior the previous day, he must have realized how I felt about him. Why hadn’t I played it cool and chic instead of playing the ‘angry chick’?
That very evening as I sat playing my piano, I heard my phone buzz. I was taken aback to see the caller ID. It was him. I gulped down hard and cleared my throat for about ten times before answering the call. I guessed he was calling to ask for an explanation regarding my actions or he must have surely known something was up. I was now going to have to confess my feelings, and nothing in the world right now, was as scary as the very idea of that.

His voice came over the phone, sweet and with a hint of little nervousness. He said,” Hey! I hope I’m not interrupting anyth-”
“No, no, no!”, I said abruptly interrupting him and at the same time stretching my arms out. I realized that he wasn’t in front of me and then, sheepishly drew them back.
“Okay!” He laughed softly,” I wanted to clear out any misunderstandings that may have occurred …since you didn’t really give me a chance last night”.
“Yes! Right, I’m sorry about that too”.
” It’s alright! Getting past the apologies, I was-umm- a little awkward. I should have made you stay and explained myself better but my nerves got me.”
“Yeah! I was really nervous too!” I realized with a cold jolt that he hadn’t realized a thing. He was as unaware of how my heart felt as he was the day that I had first set my eyes on him.
Nothing had changed, not a thing.

But what if there was a different side to this story…….after all ever story has two sides, don’t you know that?